Two old ladies in my driveway, a fresh case of Grolsch, and a new bag of spicy Nacho chips…I may not make it to Heaven so I brought a little of it home this afternoon.The ladies on my driveway…not sure about them. They’re probably trying to decide whether or not to knock on my door and tell me that I’m on the wrong path…that my attitudes and beliefs, like my spine, need an adjustment. Maybe not. One of them is pretty hot for an old lady which is okay because I’m a luke-warm old man so I feel I’m qualified to judge. The other lady looks Italian. She has Italian skin, eyes, and bearing. She looks very much like my Grade seven art teacher who told us that she was Italian which is why I drew the comparison. Please don’t misunderstand…I’m not insulting Italians. Some of my best friends are Italian. That’s a lie. I don’t have any Italian friends, best or worst…although one of my best friends is Bulgarian which is closer to Italy than Kamloops is so I think that counts. I could have an Italian best friend but nobody answered my ad in the personals. I guess asking for an elderly Italian to be my BFF is a little creepy.
Okay I made all that up…there isn’t an Italian lady on my driveway. There isn’t a hot older lady on my driveway either but that’s okay. I have one in my house and I’ve been living with her for forty-five years and I really don’t want another one. There’s really only so much of me to go around.
I do have the Grolsch and the chips though. It might be a sad testament but that’s my idea of Heaven at the moment. I’ve spent a good part of the day digging in the garden and a cool Grolsch or two is my reward. They’re celebrating their 400th Anniversary this year. I only wish I’d discovered it years ago. It was my doctor who recommended Grolsch as a healthy beer and that I should have one a day. I like my doctor. Sometimes I forget for four or five days (luke-warm old age again) but come Friday night I fill the prescription and have four or five. Grolsch is my best friend from Holland. Not that I’m hinting but if someone from Grolsch wants to thank me in product for this plug…pm me.